Brandon Gilbert

Jamie and I finally got the Christmas Tree up in our apartment. We are not “Day after Thanksgiving” types, but more like “2 weeks ’til Christmas, we need the tree up” type people. The act of putting a tree in the living room and then hanging shiny things on it was a great source of entertainment for Ryne. It only seemed to confirm for him how weird his parents are.

Son: Dad, I’m telling mom you put a tree in our living room.
Dad: Mom already knows…she asked me to put it up for her.
Son: I highly doubt that. An idea this crazy seems like it would be totally your own. What about all the animals and bugs in it?
Dad: It’s not a real tree, it’s plastic, and besides, this is the Christmas tree, and we’re putting it up so you can enjoy Christmas a little better.
Son: I don’t even know what Christmas is, so how could I enjoy it more?
Dad: Well, Christmas has a very deep meaning, and I don’t know if you’re old enough for me to go into it right now.
Son: Why don’t you try me?
Dad: Well, Christmas is the time of year that we celebrate the birthday of Jesus.
Son: I thought that’s what we were doing all those Sundays at Church.
Dad: Well, I’m glad you picked up on that, but it’s a little different. At church, we are celebrating much more about Jesus’s life than just his birthday.
Son: OK, I know I’ve only been here a little while, but you guys sure do strange things. Tell me more about Christmas.
Dad: Well, the things that will interest you are the Christmas tree which has these bright lights and all these ornaments on it. It’s pretty and shiny.
Son: What’s a plastic tree got to do with Jesus?
Dad: I’m not sure, it’s just been that way since I was a little boy, and much longer than that.
Son: Why do you hang shiny things on it?
Dad: I’m not sure about that either, except that many,many years ago, they hung the most precious thing in history on a tree…but we’ll get into that another time. Another thing that’s cool about Christmas is that when Jesus was born, some men traveled a long way to see him and bring him the best gifts they had to offer. That is why on Christmas Eve, Santa Claus travels all over the world bringing presents to the good boys and girls.
Son: Who is this Santa you speak of?

Dad: You had your picture taken with him a few weeks ago.
Son: You mean the old man at the mall?
Dad: Yes, that’s him.
Son: I was meaning to ask you about that. Handing your baby over to an old bearded man in a red velvet track suit hardly seems like appropriate behavior.
Dad: Trust me, Santa is a cool guy. You’ll really appreciate him when you see the gifts he brings.
Son: So this guy who flies all over the world to take toys to all the boys and girls just sits around taking pictures at the mall?
Dad: You’d be amazed at how much Santa actually accomplishes in malls.
Son: That’s a strange story. It might as well be an egg-laying bunny who brings presents to kids.
Dad: Umm, about that…