Posts Tagged: ‘Brand_New_Dad’

The RynoBoy Diaries #6

June 6, 2010 Posted by Brandon Gilbert

Stop me if you’ve heard this before…

This past weekend, I took a trip with my two sidekicks, Daddy and Mommy. We went to a far away, exotic land called “Aldridge.” On the way back, we got stuck on an island. There was a monster made of smoke, but he kept to the other side of the island for the most part. There quite a bunch of people in the beginning, but as time went on, there were fewer and fewer people. There was a boat that came to the island, but then it left to go to the other island across the water.

I had a lot of people who wanted to spend time with me and get to know me. They were nice. Then we all started getting swept through time. We would spend time in the 90′s, 80′s, 60′s, and 50′s. We never stayed too long in one time, though. It was amazing how much we saw as we traveled through time.

It got more and more scary as time went by, though, and it was clear that someone would have to step up and save the island. Being a Super Hero, I of course volunteered to be the one to save us. So I decided to fight the Great Light in the Sky that seemed to be controlling everything. As our battle waged on, I became so sleepy that I just could not hold my eyes open. I’m not even sure what the Great Light in the Sky was doing to me.

Before I knew it, I was opening my eyes and we were back in our car driving towards home. I asked Daddy, “Was it real?” He said that everything that happened was real. I asked him, “what was that place?” He replied, “that was a place that was made so that we could all be together.”

Apparently I beat the Great Light in the Sky and restored everything to order…just like I always do!

TheBrandNewDad Epilogue: What had happened was… This past weekend we went down to Alabama for a family reunion of some of my extended family. This was the first time for Ryne to meet a lot of them. We went to the wrong place first where someone was grilling (i.e. burning to a crisp) some meat and there was a large black smoke column. We have a large family ,and they all passed him around and he had a good ol’ time hamming it up for the camera. He got to be there as some of the more, um, “distinguished” members of our family told stories of long ago. The most important part, was that he got to swim in the lake for the first time. Here’s a video:









In the end, the time spent in the sun proved to be too much and he got real tired. We decided that was our cue to leave. We put him in the car, and by the time we’d driven a mile to get to the park gate, he was already sound asleep. He had quite a time, and we all had a great time watching him. I love my little guy.

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Categories: RynoBoy

Wordless Wednesday #2

May 26, 2010 Posted by Brandon Gilbert

Ryne Pulling up in Bed and Watching Your Baby can Read





Ryne Practicing for the Showcase Showdown on The Price is Right





Ryne’s First Meal feeding himself: Brown Rice, chicken, peas & carrots.





Ryne watching YBcR and dancing to “Head and Shoulders.”

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10 Months and Counting

May 20, 2010 Posted by Brandon Gilbert

We’re only two months from the big 0-1 and it’s unbelievable how much my little guy has grown since he was born. All the new stuff he does on a daily basis just amazes me. He learns new skills so quickly that I can’t even keep up. Here’s a list of new things going on with him:

1. 3 Teeth; Two bottom fronts and top left.
2. Pulling up on his own on objects other than Mom and Dad, though he doesn’t pull up in his crib.
3. He has two toy boxes in the living room. He has quickly graduated from not knowing how to get the toys out to pulling the box over to spill them out to now sitting by the box and pulling them out one at a time.
4. He’s walking like a champ holding onto Mommy or Daddy, but this past couple of weeks has been moving holding onto other things.
5. He’s been singing along with the radio, though without words…mostly humming.
6. He’s starting to get the hang of waving bye-bye.
7. He’s learning to clap and recognizes the word “clap” from our Your Baby can Read DVDs.
8. He has learned the “High Five” and enjoys it quite a bit….unless he’s in an ill mood.
9. He’s feeding himself well with finger foods and occasionally with a spoon.
10. He, unlike his father, apparently likes Mexican food, and had some chicken, refried beans, and guacamole from Las Maracas this past Sunday. He ate as much as his Mommy would give him, and since it was her idea, I made sure she was on Diaper Duty for the rest of the day.

It’s so funny how fast time goes by, and I know it will only continue to do so. I mean, he’s still in diapers, and I’m already hearing verses from ” Cat’s in the Cradle” in the back of my mind. I’m really excited for all his progress, but I’m struggling to keep up. He’s a lot more mobile and demands a lot more of my time, and so I haven’t updated this as much. I’ll try to be better about that. He also has entered into a phase full of tantrums…speaking of which…

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Categories: Milestones

Changing a Diaper (Brand)

April 29, 2010 Posted by Brandon Gilbert

When Ryne was first born I wrote about how all diapers were not created equal. When we were still naive and thinking about the rainbows and unicorns side of parenting, we decided we weren’t going to be picky about what types of diapers we were going to use. We didn’t want to be “those parents” that have to be so particular with their child. Then IT happened. That fateful day when everything that was supposed to stay on the inside was on the outside. Since that fateful day with the most horrible of wardrobe malfunctions, we have stuck with Pampers. A diaper has to contain the devastation…that’s its only purpose in life. Pampers does that well. Sure, we’ve had a few mishaps with Pampers along the way, but in almost every case, I can say with a good amount of certainty that it was a poor fastening job by Daddy or Mommy. Diapers are like a Dam with a Lock. They’re supposed to hold back the flood, but that only really works if you make sure to close the gate.

Then a few months ago, my Pastor, Aarron, tries to convert me. Imagine that….a Pastor trying to convert people. He tries to tell me that Target has a Store Brand that works just as well as Pampers. My first thought was that the stress of planting a church had finally gotten to him. We had seen the devastation caused by not following the  “Thou shalt have no other diapers before me” commandment from Pampers. We just weren’t ready for that kind of change in my life. Notice, I said it was a few months ago that he had told me.

Fast forward to this week. Still without a job after almost 11 months, I am looking for any way to cut expenses. Aarron has still been praising the Target diapers, so we finally broke down and decided to give them a try. At $7 less a box, we figured it was worth at least an experiment. I still was not without reservation. I was ready to try them, but I told myself that the first time they malfunctioned, Aarron was going to get possibly the worst Pastor’s Appreciation Day present in history.

Our whole family was skeptical. When we opened the box, TheBrandNewMom examined them closely to see if they even looked like they acted like Pampers. TheBrandNewSon was waaay confused. The first time I went to put it on him, he raised his eyebrows at me in a worried and perplexed look, as if to say “Hey, Dad….you realize that’s not a Pampers diaper, right?” I calmed his fears….even though I was bracing for the worst. We let him play and then he took a nap. Then he got up and ate, and played again. He didn’t have any poopies….but he did have about a quart of liquid in there. The Target diapers held their own there. But that was not the main test of concern. I can handle a small leak of liquid. It’s the other stuff that gets me. Well, that time came and went as well, and again, the Target diapers passed with flying colors (no pun intended).

So, about a week later, we’ve still had no malfunctions, though there’s been plenty opportunities for it. So, if you have a Target in your area, I highly recommend Up and Up Brand diapers.

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(almost) Wordless Wednesday

April 28, 2010 Posted by Brandon Gilbert

Ready for Foam Battle


Just knocked down the MegaBlocks tower Godzilla style.

At the Park.

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Who Ordered the Miracle Grow?

April 22, 2010 Posted by Brandon Gilbert

When you spend all day, every day with a person, you usually don’t see changes in them. With your spouse, unless it’s a new hair color or something drastic, most changes seem to go unnoticed. It usually takes someone on the outside to see changes and comment on them, like a little lost weight here, or some gained weight there. I’ve learned that this does not apply to the little guy living here.

Spending all day, every day with my son is a blessing. As much as TheBrandNewMom and I would love for our circumstances to be different, we realize that having at least one of us here to take care of him is a great gift. Still, even though I am constantly with him, changes seem to come very drastically and without warning. TheBrandNewSon is a goal setter. He decides that he’s going to do something, and then he makes it happen.

When we wanted him to roll over, we would put him in the floor for some tummy time. He hated tummy time. He got to be so defiant about it, he would lay there and just go to sleep instead of actually trying to roll over or scoot a little. One day, he just decided that enough was enough. We had him laying on our bed with us, and he just flipped right over very matter-of-factly. Once he did, he felt he was accomplished. He knew he could do it, so there was no need to prove it again. It was a couple of weeks before he would do it again.

After he became a roller, we tried to get him to crawl. For weeks, he would get up into crawling position, and then he would crawl….backwards. Finally, he made up his mind that it was time to crawl, so he did…he wanted something and he went and got it. Again, he had accomplished his goal, another life skill learned and it’s been a while for us to try to get him to crawl again. He’s crawled a few times, but mostly he would kind of pout as if to say, “I did this once, you know I can do it, so why are you asking me to do it again? I am not a circus monkey.”

Fast forward to the last week. He’s been crawling whenever he wants to get around. He’s decided he wants to crawl and explore now. Today was exceptionally eventful. Today I put him in the floor and he crawled a good 4 feet away to get to the MegaBlocks he likes to eat…er, play with. when he got done, though….he crawled back to Daddy! Then, he proceeded to pull up on me and stand up (another one of those pesky life skills we’ve been working on)! I picked him up and put him in my lap. We laughed and played “Tickle Monster.” When we were done with that, he slid back down to get in the floor and crawled back over to the MegaBlocks, and repeated the whole process until he had tired himself out and it was nap time.

It seems like so much time passes, and then BAM! He decides he’s ready to graduate to a whole ‘nother level of baby awesomeness. I’ve definitely learned that I have to quit watching for milestones, though. It makes the time fly by that much faster. You keep looking ahead to the next milestone, and you miss out on all the cool little stuff that happens in between. This is advice I shared with a new Twitter friend, Chris, who’s Twitter name is @twistedxtian if you want to follow him. He’s a dad who’s studying to be a Pastor…in Canada. He has a 6 month old, affectionately called “Bean.” I see stuff he writes on his blog, and remember what it was like when we were going through those same things. While they’re only 3 months behind us, it feels like an eternity.

I remember holding Ryne on my chest a couple of days after he was born and wishing for nothing else but that time would stop and let me freeze in that moment forever. Now, if it had, I would have missed a lot of really cool stuff…like having my son look me in the eye and say “DaDa.” There are so many moments to hold onto, but they just keep fading away and are replaced very quickly with new ones. I don’t mind him growing up, but I would like it to go at a slower pace. I would like to know one thing… Who ordered the Miracle Grow?

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Repost: Is Breastmilk actually Baby Cocaine?

April 21, 2010 Posted by Brandon Gilbert


As Ryne gets bigger and bigger, I can’t help but notice that his feeding times are resembling less and less hunger and more and more addiction. I would even say that by the time he gets ready to eat, he is actually fiending for the next fix.

It used to be that he would wake up every few hours ready to eat and it would be a cry and we knew what it meant. Now he keeps his eyes closed and starts stretching his neck looking for a fix. He puckers his lips, searching for anything that will relieve his cravings.

As I’ve written before, Ryne figures out that the pacifier is only plastic pretty quick. It’s even worse when he’s searching for a hit of milk. He will get the pacifier in his mouth and suck so hard that you think he might actually get what he’s wanting. This lasts for about four sucks and then…boom! The pacifier goes flying and all his crying fury is unleashed upon the world.

I haven’t noticed it, but I am sure there are baby equivalents of the shakes and cold sweats going on as he cries (more like a yell). Then, we pick him up to feed him and his search for that fix kicks into high gear. He bobs his head back and forth looking for anything to feed the craving. Necks, shoulders, biceps, anything is fair game as he tries to get what he wants.

When his mommy finally starts to get him into position to feed, he gets even more impatient. He knows it’s there, and he can’t wait to get it. His efforts to get it as fast as he can actually result in delaying the good stuff. He tries to help pull it in, but this actually results in him pushing it out. He bobs his head and latches on to the wrong sides. Jamie has to actually physically restrain his arms to get him to feed.

Once he’s finally got what he wants, his whole body relaxes and he assumes his feeding position. He puts his right fist up by his temple and his left arm kind of holds on to mommy. Breast milk has a sleep-inducing effect, so he gets very calm and complacent as he finishes. Suddenly, all is right with the world. That is, until he needs his next fix.

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Categories: Flashbacks

Q&A with Ryne

April 20, 2010 Posted by Brandon Gilbert

1. What did you think when you found out you were possibly going to meet the man you were named for?

Well, I have to be honest, I think it was more of a big deal to Daddy. Daddy’s told me about him, but he retired 12 years before I was born. Still, I thought it was cool how excited Daddy and Mommy were about the whole thing. They talked in high-pitch voices and forgot things they were talking about. They were acting like I do when I see food.

2. What were you thinking about while you were waiting at the gate to get into the ballpark?

I was thinking, “why are we here this early again?” I know Daddy and Mommy were excited and all that, but I’m sure there was a nap somewhere with my name on it. Somewhere that wasn’t in the Sun.

3. What were you thinking about while you had to wait for Mr. Sandberg to change into his uniform?

First of all, I was thinking, “why do I still have this dirty diaper on?” I thought Mommy and Daddy wanted me to make a good impression. Here’s a Hall-of-Fame player that shares my name, and I’m going to meet him smelling like Pig-Pen from Peanuts.
Second of all, I’m thinking, “How long does it take to change into a uniform? I know when I change into RynoBoy, it doesn’t take me nearly….wait…wait, um, never mind. He…He…I was just kidding about the RynoBoy stuff…you can’t print that!

4. What were your first impressions about Mr. Sandberg?

He was older than I expected. I don’t know why I didn’t think about it. I mean, Daddy’s old and he grew up watching him play… But he was, like, OLD…like, Papa old. He was nice, though. He better be glad he wasn’t a jerk to me. I was packing a diaper bomb, after all.

5. Are you content to be named after Mr. Sandberg?

Absolutely! I only hope to be as accomplished as he is someday. Plus it’s a freakin’ awesome name. The chicks are so gonna dig me.

6. What did you think about the singing of the National Anthem?

I thought The Oak Ridge Boys did a great job. I was slightly confused as to exactly when the National Anthem started to end with “Agiddyup ba-oom papa oom papa oom papa mow mow.”

7. What were your first impressions of live baseball?

The players were taller than I thought at first. I was glad to learn that Baseball isn’t a strange game played with 12 inch tall men. The grass was very green, too.

8. Do you want to go back to another game?

As long as I don’t have to wait 2 hours for it to begin, I’d love to. I want to go back and see the Sounds play when I can pull for them, because if the Cubs are in town, I just can’t do it. I want to go to a lot of different ballparks as well. Maybe to Wrigley Field next.

9. Is Baseball something you want to pursue yourself?

Well, it may be. I thought I’d probably knock out a few more items on the ol’ bucket list first, you know, like crawling, walking, talking in complete sentences, potty training, those sorts of things.

10. How awesome is your Dad for letting you experience all of that?

I don’t know that he let me experience all of it as much as he forced me to experience all of it. Regardless, it was a really fun night, and one I will remember the rest of my life… As long as Daddy and Mommy keep showing me pictures and telling me about it.

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Categories: Conversations with Dad

Ice Cream Trucks: The Siren Call of the Young

April 13, 2010 Posted by Brandon Gilbert

It all began with Pavlov’s dog. Ring a bell, and the dog begins to salivate. So it goes with Ice Cream trucks. The difference is, there is apparently no repetition needed to train a child to have a fit at the sound of the Ice Cream Truck. There must be a strand of DNA in babies that responds when they hear it.

Ryne has never had Ice Cream and there is no possible way he even knows what it is. Saturday an Ice Cream truck came through our complex. He heard the siren call oh so faintly and began jittering and reaching towards the door and generally pitching a fit to go to the door. It could just be that he liked the music, but there are a dozen things around the house that make music and he doesn’t react like that to any of them.

So…a mystery remains until the next time an ice cream truck comes through.

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Categories: Milestones

The RynoBoy Diaries #5

April 11, 2010 Posted by Brandon Gilbert

Great Sidekicks come around only so often. Great friends come around even less. So, imagine my horror and anger when my best friend, and keeper of my Super Hero secret was kidnapped right from my own base camp. Jimmy and I go way back. This was not only an attack on Jimmy, but it was an attack on me…and I took it very, very personally.

I searched the scene where he was taken. There was some kind of paralyzing agent sprayed on Jimmy to allow them to take him. I found the residue in the camp. I know they had to use it because Jimmy would never allow himself to be taken alive. I also knew immediately who had taken him: The Evil Dr. Daddicus and his Partner, The Baroness Mommy Von Milkstein. They’re always trying to take over the world. I have yet to figure out why they taunt me so much. I always win. At that moment I made the decision not to wait for any ransom demands, but to instead fly immediately to their Lair and get Jimmy out. He was going to be free and I knew I couldn’t sleep a wink until that happened.

I must admit that the thought did cross my mind that I was flying into a trap, and that they expected me to come right away, but I wasn’t worried. They aren’t the brightest villains in the comic book, if you know what I mean. Well, having said that, I was in for quite a surprise when I got to their Lair. They had moved it offshore and underwater.. There was no way to get to it except by a submarine, of course, unless you’re a super hero and you’ve got the friends I do. My friend Sally Seahorse (who is a fantastic singer) came to the surface, created a bubble for me to ride in, and then escorted me down to their Lair.

I busted in and searched until I found where they were holding Jimmy. Actually, they weren’t holding him at all. They were all having some tea as I walked in (prepared to kick some hiney). They apologized for keeping him so long and that he was free to go. I was very curious as to the nature of their visit, as this seemed all to easy. At that moment however , I didn’t care. I raced to hug Jimmy, thankful for his survival, then with the help of Sally we rushed back to the surface and back to our base camp.

Will RynoBoy find out the true nature of Dr Daddicus and Baroness Mommy Von Milkstein’s plot?
Will Jimmy remain the same friendly, care-free giraffe he’s always been?
Tune in next week. Same Rynoboy time, same RynoBoy Channel!

TheBrandNewDad epilogue: What had happened was… One evening last week, Ryne’s dinner didn’t completely agree with him, or it agreed with him too much. Either way, when I went to check on him in his crib before I went to bed, he had thrown up some of his dinner. He had avoided most of the catastrophe, having moved to a different part of the crib. Jimmy, however, didn’t quite make it. He was soiled, to say the least. Well, we had to wash him in the washer, but Ryne also had to be woken up so we could change his sheets.

I took Jimmy and put him in with the dirty clothes then went back to change his sheets while Jamie changed him. Then came time to put him back to sleep. Ryne doesn’t like to sleep without his friend Jimmy. It was hard to get him calmed down without his best friend around. So his other friend, Sally the Sea Horse sang him a song (which she does every night…Sally’s a sea horse that’s kinda in the same vein as a Glow Worm). And we comforted him as much as we could. He finally fell asleep…but the look on his face said he wasn’t happy about it.

The next day when Jimmy was finished being washed and dried, Jamie brought Jimmy for me to see if I thought he was clean and dry enough. Ryne was in the living room, and caught a glimpse of Jimmy. Now, he’s still not walking, but I believe at that very moment, he could have done one of those cheesy scenes of he and Jimmy running towards each other in a field. He kicked his legs, reached out his hands and started yelling (not crying or screaming, but kind of a whooping) for Jimmy. Jamie handed him to Ryne, and Ryne clutched Jimmy to his chest and squeezed him so hard, I would sware I could actually hear the thing wheeze. Ryne and Jimmy were finally reunited.

Why can’t we keep a friend like that as we grow up?

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